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Parenting with Wisdom and Heart

8 Jul

My husband Gerard and I have been passionate about parenting ever since we were gifted with our firstborn son, Miguel, about 14 years ago. Since there were no instruction manuals that came with our child, we looked to parenting seminars and classes as the closest thing to a parenting manual or guide. 

For us, these are the best and the most comprehensive source of information.We didn’t want to just rely on our instincts and our personal experiences from our parents, family members, and other people. 

We wanted to make sure that we have the right foundational knowledge and skills to help us ‘train up our child in the way that he should go.’ (Proverbs 22:6)

Even after two more children came, we still continued to pursue this passion. 

Now that they are grown tweens and teen, we believe that parenting seminars are even more important to us today than ever before.

My kids’ school, Domuschola International School, in cooperation with the Parents Organization, ran a parenting seminar last October 26 in Valle Verde 1 Clubhouse titled ‘Facing Today’s Parenting Challenges with Wisdom and Heart’. This is the school’s first this year.

The seminar centered on child development, temperaments, and multiple intelligences and how to discipline and motivate our children based on these areas. 

It also focused on the different parenting styles, and touched briefly on family visioning and creating a family mission statement.

The speakers, husband and wife team Herald and Melissa Cruz from the Center for Family Ministries (CEFAM), taught not just based on scientific research and findings, but also shared their learnings culled from their own experiences of parenting that worked for their children.

The concept that stood out for us in this seminar is the discipling nature of parenting. It painted for us a picture of parents helping their children to know their ways, and training them to develop a life of excellence

 Discipline required only 20% talking but 80% modeling. 

It is a process of teaching our children to learn appropriate behaviors, and ultimately, to make good choices in life.

Our kids won the Kiddo-Preneur Bazaar Summer

2012 

Most useful in this seminar to us was the letter-writing activity. We were asked to make two letters. One letter was made with our weaker hand as if we were our children, and one was made with our stronger hand meant for our children as their parents. 

It brought tears to our eyes to be in our children’s shoes and feeling their emotions when we discipline them negatively or are not motivating them the right way. 

This is a very strong and effective way of understanding and showing empathy to our children. 

Also useful were the practical ideas that came out of the discussions, such as establishing non-negotiables when making rules in the household, disciplining appropriately based on age, brain, and motor development, and the value of natural and logical consequences in child discipline.

What was most memorable to us was disciplining our children in the digital age. 

Understanding the idea that our children are born into the digital age and parents being just migrants, made us see how important the gadgets are in their lives more than in ours. 

Gadgets are essentially integrated seamlessly into their way of life, as opposed to us using these only in our professional work or as entertainment. 

We came to realize that when we discipline our children, the time to take away their privilege of using their computers or mobile phones or PSPs should be short-term and definitive, rather than long term and indefinite. 

This makes more sense to us. Gadgets are not anymore a privilege for them, rather, a necessity. 

Taking these away from them would be similar to taking away food, or in extreme parallel, depriving them of breathing. For them, it can be devastating.

When parents shared their challenges, we all heaved huge sighs of relief! We all know that this is hard to do on our own, and we appreciate that we are not alone!

What we observed to be beneficial to most parents is making the family mission statement. 

Gerard and I made our vision statement several years back and we update our vision board yearly since our brood are growing. 

This helped us immensely as a family in pursuing our goals, relationships, and priorities in our life. Everything that we did and continue to do are intentional and consistent with our family vision and mission.

Family bonding time at a”Family of Supers” Camp

2012. We won Best Costume!

We believed that this is essential for every couple to make and that they need to do this initially as a couple for their family. This is to set the tone of the values, principles, and goals that are important to them as they need to impart these to their children. 

Having children from all age groups and being parents for 14 years, we thought that we were already trained and experienced parents. 

This seminar has proven us that parenting is something that cannot be perfected. It is continuously evolving, since our kids are growing, and changing, as well.

Enjoying & having fun at the photo booth.

With proper training and education from parenting seminars like this, we can build off from our foundation of knowledge and make easier and efficient our natural parenting instincts and skills. 

After all, this is a fruitful investment to make because it is for the benefit of our children and our relationship with them. 

The benefits can last a lifetime; the effects are priceless! We just wish that the school run parenting seminars like this one more often every year. 

Blogger’s Note: Domuschola International School is a progressive international school accredited and certified by the Switzerland-based International Baccalaureate Organization. It is located in Dormitory I, Philsports Complex, Molave Street, Barangay Ugong, Pasig City. You may contact DIS via their phone numbers: (632) 635 9743, (632) 635 2002 or email them at info@dis.edu.ph or visit their website: http://www.dis.edu.ph


Life is Amazing!

LENY

Top 5 Money Lessons You Wished You’ve Learned

8 Jul

Money is not the root of evil. It is the love of money. Money can help you achieve happiness and joy by using it to bless others. I’d like to share with you how you can manage your money well so you can be a source of joy not just to yourself, but to your family, and to others as well.

Here are the top 5 lessons I have learned about money early on in life:

Lesson #1: Know the difference between an asset and a liability

In the old definition, an asset is something you acquire or purchase, like a car or a house and has money value. A liability is something that you can claim against an asset, like a credit card bill, debts, loans or payable. The new definition of an asset is something that puts money in your pocket, like a rental apartment or a business and funds your luxuries or liabilities. A liability is something that takes money out of your pocket, like jewelry, car or your house, and something that you purchase or acquired.

Lesson #2: Mind your own business. 

Buy and grow your assets. Some of these assets to develop or grow are: businesses that do not require your full time or presence, company shares or stocks, bonds, T-bills or SDAs (Special Deposit Accounts), income-generating real estates such as a rental apartment or dormitories, royalties from intellectual property from music, scripts or patents, and anything that has value, produces income and has a ready market.

Lesson #3: Pay yourself first

Set aside at least 10% from your income to build your business or fund your emergency money or investments. Then make saving or tithing as your next priority. This is the Power of Discipline. I know this is painful. But as the saying goes, “No Pain, No Gain.”

Lesson #4: Make choices everyday. 

How you spend your money is a reflection on how you use your most valuable resources: time, learning, and money.  Use your valuable resources wisely. If you want to predict a person’s future, just look at his expenses. Do you spend it in the latest gadgets, the latest fashion, or the latest accessories?  This only build your expenses, debts, and liabilities.

Or do you use it to invest and build on your assets, like seminars on investing and personal finance, personal coach/mentor, books, gym memberships to keep you healthy and fit, and donations to charities and churches?  This is the Power of Choice.

 

Lesson #5: Use your assets to pay for your luxuries, your liabilities.  

Acquire assets, or things that put money in your pocket, by paying yourself first. Then, you can purchase your liabilities or your luxuries by the income and cash flow generated by your assets. This is the power of focus. So many people today have money to buy their luxuries first but never seem to have any cash to purchase their assets. They get into debt simply because they keep on buying more and more luxuries, and they never stop to think that these are in reality, just liabilities.

So are you ready to apply these lessons so you can start blessing others and multiply your joy?

Life is Amazing!

LENY

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